I was scrolling through Facebook and a post announcing the 23rd birthday of a musician with the video for “What’s My Age Again” by Blink-182 linked.
The still from the video reminded me that when I originally heard the song; I was somewhere in my teens amidst other angst-filled youths sitting on grass or concrete or dirt and ruining my jeans.
For me, 23 came and went faster than I could remember. I’ve had the same full-time job since I was 20. I’ve been in the same band since then also. As well as living in the same area of Orange County. I’ve lived on my own, burned up my first car then got my first car loan. I’ve performed on many different sized stages throughout Southern California and met/worked with many talented individuals in the music scene.
i wouldn’t change a thing.
However, now I find myself more than halfway through 24. Still paying off my loan and searching for a home to live in. This apartment life is not for me.
I need creative space. I need peace. I need solitude. I need time to create.
The band I’ve been in is going through more changes than we have before.
It is now time for change.
I’m excited for the future. For the next quarter of my life to begin. I’m at a point where my life can blossom into something new, crazy and great or fall into a pit of debt, vapidness and monotony.
Thanks for reading & sharing this journey with me.
This is not catharsis, it is the antonym.
It lets me wallow in the missed memories; your sin
is my shadow, it won’t go.
But I need you to.
Why is it that you want to hurt me?
I never wanted to, to you.
Your stubbornness kills bliss.
Just a rant. No idea what got me started. I don’t remember a time where I didn’t understand words or how to write. Even when I couldn’t physically write well, with a large pencil and hugely lined paper, I still enjoyed it. Even if I was writing nothing. The glide of a pen across paper is soothing to me. I also draw and paint, so maybe it began by liking those instruments and grew as I could understand more. I love words as well. The way they sound/can be spoken, even the look of a written or typed word. Not to mention their meaning and effect. It’s almost infinite, especially in more than one language. I’ve spent years, since my freshman year in high school, learning français and I’ve still merely scratched the surface. Words are how we , humans, understand each other. It’s what connects us; without words, we would be strangers.
Growing up, I didn’t just listen to my parents music. I grew up listening to almost every genre of music through my entire family.
My dad was a DJ, my aunt was a professional singer and my family leans towards the asian side and we kareoke A LOT. So I basically listened to everything from oldies to whatever crazy 90’s dance music there was, from Celene Dion to songs not even in English.
I suppose that could be the reason I enjoy so many genres of music and it not only influences my musical taste, but my writing as I am a musician. Perhaps not directly, but it definitely allows me to keep my ears open to new music and allows me to have unbiased opinions and openly appreciate anything.